Spouse fed up with druggie hubby’s lies

Expensive Abby: I’ve been married to my husband for 30 years. For the previous 5 years, I’ve seen that he’s performing a bit of completely different. He’s misplaced a variety of weight. I came upon he’s been smoking medicine. He had this downside years in the past, and I assumed we had it beat. However now I’m getting the impression that possibly you may’t ever beat it.

My daughter gave me a tracker for my birthday. I put it in his automobile to see the place he went, and it confirmed that he went to an condo constructing and was there for nearly an hour. I don’t know who lives in that constructing, and I’ve by no means been there. I believe that he’s dishonest on me. I can’t consider one more reason he could be in an condo constructing in a extremely dangerous space if there wasn’t one thing conserving him there. Once I requested him the place he was, he stated, “Why are you asking me so many questions?”

I do know my husband lies to me. I’m at my wits’ finish and don’t know what to do. I do know will probably be actually arduous to go away if that’s what I select to do, however I assume I’ve no different alternative. Once I recommended marriage counseling, he refused. I advised him he wanted to do drug counseling. He stated he doesn’t have an issue. Clearly, he does have an issue. I advised him he’s too outdated for this. What do you suppose I ought to do? — Suspicious in Michigan

Expensive Suspicious: Earlier than doing anything, it is crucial you shield your self. Speak to your physician about being checked for STDs. Then inform your husband concerning the tracker and ask him to clarify concerning the time he’s spent at that condo constructing. Was he with one other girl? His drug seller? (If it’s a lady, does he plan to proceed seeing her?) Relying upon the solutions he provides you and whether or not you may consider them, you might wish to discuss to an legal professional to find out the way you wish to proceed.

Expensive Abby: My 95-year-old mom has been wholesome till just lately. She’s in an impartial dwelling facility and is completely happy there. I’m the first caretaker for her medical wants as her coronary heart has weakened, and he or she’s now underneath palliative care.

My sister “Julie,” who lives out of state, has determined to position a digicam in Mother’s dwelling and observe and report her day and night time. Though Mother doesn’t thoughts the digicam, it makes me uncomfortable to be always watched and monitored whereas visiting and aiding her. Julie will get offended if I cowl the digicam whereas I’m there. Once I take away the duvet, I hear the digicam zoom across the room and concentrate on us. Am I incorrect to need privateness throughout my visits with my mom? — Digicam-Shy in Colorado

Expensive Digicam-Shy: The purpose of the digicam is when your mom is alone somebody can regulate her. In case you are there, there must be no want for the digicam. I’ll assume you could have advised your sister you don’t need your visits monitored, and he or she persists in doing it anyway. Be happy to cowl it if you are there, however don’t neglect to uncover it whenever you depart.

Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.