My worker needs to take bereavement depart for her lifeless canine

DEAR ABBY: I supervise a bunch of six mid-level professionals. Normally, we handle advantageous, however a present battle could push me over the sting. “Lauren” lives alone with canines that appear to be her solely household. One in every of them (age 11) had been sick. She stored asking for sick depart to take him to the vet. I instructed her she had to make use of trip time for that.

Nicely, the canine died, and now Lauren needs to take bereavement depart. Once I refused, she had a match and began yelling about unequal remedy as a result of one other co-worker, “Jenny,” was allowed to take bereavement depart earlier this yr.

Jenny’s toddler son died in a drowning accident. It was a horrific tragedy. Jenny was traumatized and incapacitated for weeks. The conditions should not comparable. However Jenny heard Lauren yelling and evaluating Jenny’s youngster to her aged basset hound. That is inflicting all types of interpersonal issues that HR has flatly refused to get entangled with.

I perceive that Lauren beloved her canine, however I additionally suppose she must get a grip, apologize to Jenny and take a trip if she must. Is it unreasonable to anticipate an grownup to know the distinction between a human and a canine and act accordingly? — STRESSED SUPERVISOR IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SUPERVISOR: I believe you already know the reply to your fairly snarky query. HR at your agency could also be reluctant to deal with this scorching potato as a result of they don’t have a coverage in place that covers pet sickness or bereavement for the lack of one. Please recommend it to your employer.

DEAR ABBY: My spouse and I are seniors and reside in a one-floor condominium. I’m in good well being, however she has a number of medical points, together with impaired stability and mobility. She refuses the beneficial bodily remedy and barely makes use of the walker I purchased for her. She hates cooking now and desires me to drive nearly every day for takeout, which is dear and time-consuming. Now, she’s speaking about promoting our condominium to maneuver right into a seniors’ complicated with impartial, assisted and persevering with care phases. All meals are ready there.

I don’t want this transfer and have instructed her so. Once I do, she goes silent for days, telling me it’s time for the change. I disagree. We’re at an deadlock. I’m so upset about this I’m contemplating divorce after 55 years. What do you suggest we do? — STILL YOUNG IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR STILL YOUNG: I like to recommend you focus on this along with your CPA and your legal professional earlier than making any choices. When you might afford it, an assisted dwelling facility for her when you stay within the condominium is perhaps perfect. Nonetheless, if that’s not potential, would you be keen to ship her to the ability when you hire a one-bedroom house for your self?

One factor I’m fairly certain of: Your spouse is signaling that she’s shutting down. Her world is now smaller than it was. You haven’t aged on the similar price, and it might be time to do for her what you want to her to do for you if the scenario have been reversed.

Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.