I can not recover from my abusive boyfriend

DEAR ABBY: I simply left a verbally and bodily abusive relationship. I undergo from psychological sickness, and “Scott” made it worse. We lived collectively for nearly 4 years. I might beat myself up over deciding to dwell with him. He’s an alcoholic, narcissistic, bipolar, sociopathic liar who swears he’s a person of God. Scott kicked me out numerous occasions throughout the time we lived collectively, figuring out I had nowhere to go. 5 months in the past was the final time. 

I nonetheless love him and take care of him, however I discovered final month that he met somebody at AA and took her in. She had been dwelling with him till yesterday. We have been nonetheless “collectively” till two weeks in the past however with none romantic encounters. I’m torn to items over this man. It has taken me over and who I used to be as an individual. 

Scott has a historical past of abuse. He has a felony report for killing an animal when he was staying with somebody. I didn’t keep away from him as a result of I used to be sucked in by his allure. I’m now dwelling with a good friend and seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist who’re doing NOTHING for me! Scott and I have been engaged. We have been going to get married pending his being sober for a 12 months, which by no means occurred. I don’t know what to do. Please assist. — BROKEN WING IN MINNESOTA

DEAR BROKEN WING: As I learn your letter, I hear the strains of Cole Porter’s “So in Love.” PLEASE lookup the lyrics as a result of they describe you precisely. What it is advisable to do is proceed speaking together with your therapist and getting meds out of your psychiatrist till they aid you undo your fixation on somebody who, in case your description of him is correct, is a sociopath and incapable of loving anyone. Till you are able to do that, your story won’t have a cheerful ending.

DEAR ABBY: I’m a 66-year-old girl, married with two daughters. I’m additionally 5-foot-2 and weigh 108 kilos. This isn’t one thing new. However at any time when there’s a gathering with my in-laws, a minimum of one among them says I have to put meat on my bones — in these precise phrases. I believe it’s impolite and offensive. I’m definitely not telling any of them to take meat off their bones. 

I can not assist my measurement, metabolism or genetics, and I’m uninterested in the feedback. These folks have recognized me for 39 years. I’ve all the time been this measurement. I don’t know what to say to them. I not care anymore about being sort. — SLIGHT IN OHIO

DEAR SLIGHT: Should you actually don’t care about offending the offenders, take off your child gloves. Inform your in-laws you’ve tolerated their feedback for too lengthy and to stop doing it since you don’t prefer it. If, heaven forbid, they are saying you’re “too delicate,” ask them how they want being instructed they’re too heavy and that their fragrance smells like rubbish. (I’m certain you may consider one thing when you cease laughing.)

Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.