How I Embrace the Easy Pleasures of a Quiet Dwelling Life | Wit & Delight

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A woman is standing in front of a wood paneled wall, wearing high-waist jeans and a white blouse with puffy sleeves and a sailor collarA woman is standing in front of a wood paneled wall, wearing high-waist jeans and a white blouse with puffy sleeves and a sailor collar
Photograph by Stephanie Sunberg for Maria Stanley

Whereas Wit & Delight has been quieter for a 12 months now, I’ve been writing greater than ever. As I’ve slowed down my publishing cadence, my curiosity about the best way we reside—and why—has ripened. I’m fascinated by what sits beneath the veneer of aesthetics—how we enhance our areas, who we let in, and who we maintain out. Most significantly, I’ve reconnected with what it means to thrill in our personal way of life. 

The act of writing about these experiences has been deeply transformative for me. It’s introduced up conversations with readers I’d have by no means had in short-form, visual-based content material. That is what I really like most about Substack. 

Whereas I proceed to share life-style content material and the occasional private essay right here on Wit & Delight, I additionally publish weekly on Home Name, a Substack e-newsletter wherein I discover why our properties—and the lives we lead inside their partitions—matter a lot. For brand spanking new or longtime readers who haven’t discovered their technique to Home Name fairly but, I encourage you to peruse this physique of labor. 

Beneath is an unique excerpt from a latest Home Name essay, “In Favor of a Quiet Dwelling Life.” Choosing a quieter life within the face of an more and more noisy world felt like profession loss of life for my life-style model—however one I desperately wanted for myself. I wrote about making room for vacancy, having fun with easy pleasures, and delighting in quiet moments at house. I hope you benefit from the essay and be part of me over on Substack. 

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Home Name Excerpt: In Favor of a Quiet Dwelling Life 

Amid the repetitive rhythm of day by day life, considered one of my favourite indulgences is the act of daydreaming. Ever since I used to be a toddler, I’ve discovered myself wandering freely by way of the realms of creativeness. What began with a unconscious want to assuage myself, at its finest, has confirmed fertile floor for a wealthy interior life. The mundane turns into magical, and the bizarre is reworked into the extraordinary. My daydreaming has given technique to lucid dreaming and generally these photographs are so vivid, actuality pales compared. 

Once I gained the nickname “Spacey Katie” for wandering in my thoughts throughout tutorial classes, dance courses, and softball video games, I realized my tendency to take away myself from the right here and now wasn’t precisely serving to me navigate social settings. Like most introverts, I noticed my pure state as “much less” than—one thing to “repair” to excel on this world. 

However these days, I’ve discovered myself making extra room for introversion. This winter was deafeningly quiet in all areas of my life, a form of magic darkish that felt intentional. Like area had been made to return house to this a part of myself. I didn’t have my normal escapes: my creativity felt stunted, schedules have been bare-bones, and indulging in alcohol and meals simply made me really feel worse. My instinct was telling me to take the quiet and simply be with the vacancy. I quickly got here to appreciate this vacancy was life-giving.

How Delight and Dwelling Life Intersect

As I regularly opened as much as this name towards introversion, I saved coming again to how delight and a quiet house life intersect. It was the place I had given myself time to study to be OK with issues as they have been, to rehabilitate my petulance for extra, extra, extra.

These little duties—these ignored, underrated, easy pleasures (heat toast with tea in a sunsoaked chair for instance)—have been doing extra for my temper and sense of well-being at house than churning away at undertaking after undertaking. I began questioning whether it is even doable to take pleasure in our properties if we don’t know the best way to discover pleasure in simply being. All of the paint colours, wallpapers, and patterns can’t be translated into an interior sense of permission to sink into your self by way of the pleasure of merely being house. 

This delight I’ve been chasing since 2009 was by no means going to disclose itself by way of self-improvement or cookie-cutter recommendation from {a magazine} on the best way to enhance my home. In actual fact, I don’t assume there’s a handbook in any respect. When designing a life well-lived, one must be courageous sufficient to let go of the personas, masks, and armor they’ve accrued. Maybe releasing what isn’t ours and letting issues die that weren’t meant for us is the one technique to design a life that seems like house. Sadly, this course of isn’t a path lined with candy-colored daisies however one which extra so resembles a stroll by way of Loss of life Valley. 

I began questioning whether it is even doable to take pleasure in our properties if we don’t know the best way to discover pleasure in simply being. All of the paint colours, wallpapers, and patterns can’t be translated into an interior sense of permission to sink into your self by way of the pleasure of merely being house. 

This week on Home Name, I need to contact on the facility of our properties past the best way they give the impression of being. The inspiration for this publish got here from years of engaged on my house however not essentially feeling good within the areas I used to be creating. Once I requested myself what makes me really feel most content material and delighted at house, what revealed itself shocked me.

What a Quiet Dwelling Life Represents for Me

Areas that stay fixed.

It’s necessary to have locations in my house I’m not actively updating—rooms I merely let be. It’s a apply that brings me each consolation and a way of peace. These areas, which embrace my bed room, kitchen, and workplace, have advanced to replicate my altering wants and preferences. Whereas I nonetheless make occasional changes, I’ve determined to deliberately chorus from making vital modifications to those rooms except there’s a clear want for an replace. . . .

These areas have change into extra than simply rooms in my house. They’ve change into extensions of myself, reflecting my persona, values, and aspirations. By permitting them to be, I enable myself to understand the sweetness and luxury of the current second with out the fixed want for change.

Paid Home Name subscribers can learn the remainder of this essay—and a lot extra. Help this inventive endeavor of mine and change into a paid subscriber by clicking right here.



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